Day 28...time ticks slowly

This has been a remarkably tough week. I think the biggest issue has been a huge gap between what I think I should be able to do and what I can do. I've walked 25.7 km, not including incidental walking - across the road, round the house, etc. That includes one day where I didn't walk at all, except around the house. My biggest walking day was yesterday where I did two walks totalling 7.1 km. I ended the day feeling OK, except for a persistent dull ache in the base of my spine and general aching and stiffness.

For me the tough thing is to remember that 4 weeks ago I couldn't walk 300 metres without sitting down 3 times (and still arriving a pale, shaking mess) and that it's been over 3 years since I've been able to walk 7 km in a day. So that's got to be progress of a massive scale.

Nevertheless I've absolutely been through the emotional wringer. Half way through my long walk yesterday I stopped for lunch and found myself sitting eating my lunch with tears streaming down my face, wondering how the hell I was ever going to walk home from there and whether the pain and slowness were ever going to improve. God knows what the other patrons thought! Anyway walk home I did.

The problem is that I then feel an overwhelming need for sleep. So I slept for a couple of hours before my next walk. This was supposed to be a short walk before dinner. I bumped into a couple of friends and spent some time chatting with them about their plans for a new house. It was a great end to the day and improved my mood no end. So from the deepest downs to a reasonable up. No doubt it won't be the last time that happens, but I am surprised at how emotionally labile I am.

The key stopper for me at the moment is sitting down. Basically I can't, except for very short periods. I do sit sometimes for longer periods (like writing this post) but the suffering that results is directly proportional to the length of time spent sitting. The optimal maximum seems to be about 5 minutes. Not much hope of a return to work any time soon at that rate.

My mental target for return to work has always been 6 weeks post-op. At the moment I can't see myself being able to front up to work in 2 weeks' time. We'll see.

I also desperately want to get into the pool, however there is one little area of the suture line that is healing by secondary intention and I'm not game to get into some foetid pool until that is completely settled.

For those who've had to put up with my intensely unhappy behaviour this week, in person, on the phone or on Twitter, my apologies. I hope I stop behaving like that soon. I'm trying. thanks for all your support.